I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
