Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
