She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
