you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
