It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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