Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
