Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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