It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
