Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
should my penis look like a turkey
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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