9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
