the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
