Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
