apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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