what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
