I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
