I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
