Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
