new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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