Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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