My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
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