Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
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