You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
