You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
