I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
