Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
