Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
