hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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