i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
