mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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