I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
