You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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