try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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