i can't believe i had my finger in that
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
