You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
