Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
