weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
