Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
