That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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