using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
