so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
