She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
