I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
