I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
