Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
