I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
