Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
