no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
