i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
