he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
