doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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