I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
