Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
