i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
