So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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